a different kind of beautiful
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'i guess, we can all relate to each other, one way or another, we're all the same. put aside the apparent differences, dig deep down, we all want someone to love us and appreciate who we are, without having to conform to society's standards. and of course, it's best if the feeling's mutual. it's hard to find, and it truly is something we take for granted when we have it. this desire in us, lives long and sometimes go forgotten. how sad it that? sigh. blame it on our youth, for the most idealistic dreams and surreal fantasies. we hold on to what we have, to help us go on. as we grow older, little by little, it's lost. we begin to see what a sad world this place is, and how hope is elusive. i do think of this world as depressing and disappointing, but i refuse to give up my ideas about love, hope and faith.'
because if i do, what am i living for?
i sent that email to a friend of mine a couple of days ago. well. to be honest...
1) i'm not gonna be a millionaire anytime soon before my 18th birthday
2) i'm not gonna become a freaking jedi ( DO NOT LAUGH! )
3) i sure as hell wasn't emancipated at 15
4) or attending parties at 13 :5) steven spielberg hasn't declared me his God-daughter
6) sophia coppola hasn't taken me on as her apprentice
7) i'm not gonna be a war hero
8) or the first child to walk on Jupiter
dang this is embarrassing lol
qwerty at 12:53 AM
how do you comfort a dreamer who finally sees reality?
do not be afriad, I am with you
I will call you each by name.
...
come and follow me, I will give you hope.
I love you and you are mine.'
qwerty at 12:24 AM
sometimes i wonder how much we take for granted, be it the simple luxuries we overlook everyday to the sacrifices others make for us.
lets go back 4 years ago.
i remember appreciating the days without the teasing and name calling. i hated how i had to put up with it, pretending to be unfazed, pretending to be strong. i laughed it all off, stared them down, ignored them, but it wouldn't stop. i feel disgusted just thinking about how i felt fearful everytime i saw them. one moment, i could be smiling and laughing with my friends, the next, i start hearing them behind me. it didn't matter if i whacked, kicked, screamed ot hit them, the enemies, it doesn't work. it's a game to them. obviously, at my expense.
it stopped, eventually. (thankfully)
2 years on.
i still standby what i said, it was the best and worst year ever. no doubt, i had my fair sure of fun and attention. but no one would really know how much it meant to me. :p when things were bad, they were terrible. i couldn't even look anyone in the eye. i was worried about what they knew about me, or what rumours were spread. i prayed, and i prayed so hard, for a day when it'll all just go away, and i wouldn't have to worry about anything or anyone.
that day did come.
but no one said it was going to last.
everything changed on my 16th birthday. lets just say that things got better, i could lift my head up and not hide. it's the best fucking feeling in the entire world to have those people who used to tease the hell outta you, see you in a completely different light.
hey, that alone called for a celebration! it may not mean anything to you, but as silly as it sounds, it was some sort of milestone for me. something i achieved and got over.
there are times when you just realise that all your pretty clothes and shoes don't mean anything
i can't stop people from assuming and talking. i'm guilty of that too. at around 3am in the morning, when you have nothing else to do, you kinda tend to think too much. stupid things, in fact.
a prostitute sells her body right?
compare the body and the soul. the body is superficial and the soul is obviously, NOT.
so. a person who backstabs/manipulates/betrays/puts down/does things to their advantage and ours disadvantage towards etc (you get the point) his/her friends, would be one who's selling themselves out right?!
basically, i linked it to the idea of them selling their souls.
right. i have to much time on my hands. :\
qwerty at 10:02 AM
